Diamond-Encrusted Coffee Straw

Does money corrupt, or do corrupt people have the easiest time making money? I've never understood the amount of excess in the country. It may be naive of me to say, but I will never need a gold toilet.

There is a cap on the amount of money I want to have. This amount is enough for me to live a middle-class life off of the interest, spending the free time from work to do whatever I want. The problem with millionaires and billionaires might be that they have no preexisting goal. They just live aimlessly, pursuing their ambition of having more money.

The problem is also from the people they surround themselves with. Competition can drive consumerism. If someone buys a giant flat-screen TV, their neighbor wants a giant flat-screen HDTV. In that same scenario with someone who has money to blow, they would buy an HDTV that possibly goes around and devours all lesser TVs. Technology like that is not even out of Japan yet. It would cost thousands to bring to America.

So the trick for staying down to earth is to set goals, have poor friends, and defending your television from Japanese robots.

Gladiator For Sale: Great Condition

The lifecycle of any fad is:
Underground -> Trendy -> Excessive Media Coverage On the Trendiness -> Assault by Greedy Entrepreneurs -> Withering Away

Back in the 60's, the Haight-Ashbury district of San Francisco was the Mecca of grooviness. Hippies developed a new culture there that was unlike anything before. The media discovered this strange place, and in the great tradition of parading abnormality, extensively covered the city. Drug dealers and con-men soon moved in and ruined the area.

This formula applies to websites. If you really try to think back, Myspace wasn't always a cesspool of advertising, viruses, and frustration. Before CNN stumbled across it while looking for pictures of OJ it was new and interesting. Before I knew it, my inbox was full of friend requests from girls like "Joy" and "Alexis" who wanted to show me pictures of themselves. I went through 4 computers until I figured out I wasn't as popular as I had thought.

If you even look far back in history you can see this trend. Rome started out as a new, hip city with a lot going for it. As word spread (mostly through sharp or fiery means), barbarians saw a chance to make really fast money. As people entered the city with job opportunities ranging from looter to violent looter, interest in the city quickly fell through.

The Passion of the Chrysler

There are certain things that people are extremely passionate about that I have never gotten into myself. Whenever someone approaches me about them, I always have to pretend like I am really interested, while hiding that I know nothing about the topic.

One of these passions is cars. I have never caught the automobile bug. I don't want my car to look like a coal plant from the 1920's, rusted out and spewing smoke, but I don't care if it sounds like a lion or not when I turn it on.

Another one is fireworks. Watching firework displays is great. I've seen some fantastic shows. Buying fireworks is not so great. If I'm going to spend a few thousand dollars on something that only has a lifespan of seconds, I would much rather buy a used car and smash it with a hammer.

Some people go all out with fireworks. I thank them for the entertainment, but it was free for me and very costly for them. I would not give up new laptop kind of money so that I could be the one who holds the lighter.

I'm sure there are a lot of passions I have that others do not, but at least mine don't cost me countless paychecks. They just prevent me from having time to sleep.

America's Dominion Day

Today is Independence Day for all us Americans. A day when we celebrate how we outlasted a group of soldiers in bright red coats who traveled thousands of miles in a rickety boat to stand in a straight line during battles.

I will be using my 4th of July to reflect on all the wonderful hot dogs and hamburgers this country has given me. Also, potato salad as long as there is no celery.

We may not be perfect, we have started a few wars, thrown people off their land, and every once in a while poured water on a few prisoners, but we stopped Hitler and Stalin, invented the car, light bulb, and internet, created Baywatch, and could probably beat any other country in a tug-of-war. That includes you Albania.

Information Implosion

The internet can be extremely frustrating. I am at a point where I expect all information in the universe to be at my fingertips, and when something is unavailable I feel scared and vulnerable.

I don't personally ever do things for the greater online good like update Wikipedia, but I commend those who do. It's great to think, "what's that one guy from the band...the guy who sang that one song about mountains...", and end up with the right name. It's like playing word association with Ken Jennings. (I couldn't remember his name. I had to type in "Jeopardy Winner"). The internet makes anyone a master of references.

I always forget about limitations of the internet, however. Searches like, "that kid from my third grade class with the red hair", rarely result in correct information. I'm still waiting for all information to be available. Don't get me wrong, I believe in privacy, just not when it affects things I want to know.

Debate Crashers

One of the worst things someone could ever do to you is take your side in an argument when they are completely uniformed. I would rather the person insult me and kick my chair over. At least that way I'm not prescribed Prozac when I tackle them to the ground.

"The new highway plan is a horrible idea."
"Yeah, it's all just so the government can make more money. The more homes the governor destroys with this highway, the more millions of dollars he makes. I know he's tied in with the oil companies."
"Okay...well I really just meant the noise would be a bother."

With little effort, that person took my credibility from Brian Williams to Geraldo Rivera in under 20 seconds. Argument over, the insane side loses. Usually anything over a 1 on 1 argument is bad news. There is no consistency in the argument, just multiple confusing views. I'm sure commentators on TV feel the same way.

I think a more effective argument style is just to take sides with the opposing view, tie in a few 9/11 conspiracy theories, and feel proud that I ruined the day of someone I don't like.

Motivation is a Warm Cup

I am not lazy, but my motivation does come at inopportune times. I feel like running a triathlon when I have a broken leg, or I want to write music when a marathon of The Office is on television.

I'd assume that most of my motivation is natural and would be a consistent trait if television didn't pound it into submission every night. A chart of television affordability vs. American innovation would probably be inversely proportional. Its hard to invent an amazing product when American Idol is on.

It is no coincidence that some of the richest people started out dirt poor. Cable is expensive. A screw driver and a Diet Coke are cheap.

The most obvious problem with motivation is the tiredness factor. After a full day of work which involved a 3:00 skittles and coffee binge, I turn from a coked up stock broker to a Buddhist monk.

"I'm tired, so why concern myself with becoming successful? What is important is my happiness NOW. Also, Mad Max just came on."