To Each Their Own

One of the things that makes the world interesting is how different people are from one another. For all of our similarities, there is a distinctive uniqueness in each of our personalities.

The proof comes in the form of television documentaries. We all know there are medical experts and political experts, but when it comes to more obscure topics, you can still find that expert you need. The Discovery Channel is doing a documentary on frogs and they need a frog saliva expert for one of their segments? No problem. Somebody out there has devoted their life to this topic.

An expert on staplers? Pez dispensers? Cuisine in 1568? Aquaman? I'm sure these people exist, and would be willing to speak to a camera about what they know.

If anyone needs an expert on MS Paint, I'm your guy to come to. I may not be particularly proud of the ability I picked up years ago, but if The Science Channel came to me, I would be willing to explain all about the airbrush.

Hilldog

Like the rest of the media, I was unsure about how Clinton's speech would go over. Would she unite the party? Would see speak positively of Obama? To my horror the answer to these was "yes". I had no way of knowing a politician like Hillary would do this. Honestly, I made a huge mistake. I wrote my blog last night before the speech started, and have learned to never make assumptions again. I have no time today to make revisions, so I apologize for the inaccuracies in my "recollection" of events.

The second I saw Senator Clinton walk onto the stage I knew the night would be a disaster. Her "Clinton-Clinton '08" shirt was completely inappropriate. Calling Obama's change equivalent to the change brought on by an outbreak of Ebola was just downright mean.

The real shocker was when McCain took the stage and high-fived Hillary. That just has no place at a Democratic convention.

Just when I thought the worst was over, violence erupted on the floor. Hillary yelled to her supporters to attack anyone wearing an Obama shirt. Delegates clashed with each other, thrusting their signs and ripping off pins. The one positive moment was Clinton's quote, "You'll need universal health care when I'm done with you". I thought it was brilliant tie-in.

Why this year, with so much on the line, did the Democrats not come together? Why wasn't Hillary's speech unifying? Why Hillary, why?

Once again, I apologize for my mistake. Clinton made huge strides to unify the Democrats. I am just as shocked as all the commentators were. I'm still waiting for Bill's speech though. We all know he's a loose canon and could say anything about Barack.

List O' Shame

Awkwardness is a part of life, and I have had my share of uncomfortable situations. I would like to painfully reflect on some of the levels of awkwardness.

-A failed high five. The weird miss/half slap that makes both parties feel lame.

-An elevator ride with someone from work you barely know. Trapped in a box of tension.

-The "not sure what your level of comfort is" embrace. Not as bad when you embrace the same way, but very uncomfortable when one goes in for a handshake while the other tries for a hug.

-The "I used to know you but never very well" ignore. When you recognize someone but don't want to talk to them. It takes a lot of concentration to pretend like you never noticed them, but you both know.

-The "I used to know you but never very well" embrace. It goes very well for the first minute, but quickly turns horrific when you realize there is no easy way to leave the conversation. "Well, I'll see you again someday maybe..."

-Accidentally responding to something not directed at you. "Oh you were waving to the person behind me. Excuse me while I crawl into a ball in the corner."

I would like to say that all failures make us stronger, but thinking back to every embarrassing situation is like a kick in the stomach. Much better to just block them out of my memory. Excuse me while I go make a fool out of myself.

School of Rock

Our schools are failing and it will have dire consequences for our future. A country with a good education system can overcome economic hardships because the workforce has useful skills that will be needed again in time. A country with poor education could end up getting lost in the world. What is the problem?

Unlike almost every other job in America, teachers pay is based on the amount of time employed, not on skill or effort. That means that the old grungy woman complaining about her husband is earning more money than the young exuberant professional trying to make a difference for her students. That's not to say experience does not play a part. I had some wonderful teachers who were older and knew exactly what they were doing. The issue is that some did not care anymore. One teacher I had would read the class a long article in the newspaper every morning in a tone that would put a cokehead to sleep. I would wake up drowned in a puddle of drool.

Another problem is the system is easily manipulated. The most handy thing I ever learned was how to pass a class without ever reading or paying attention. It helped me to get by later on and never actually learn useful skills, but pretend like I did. This is a tricky situation. Kids are a lot smarter than you think. It may look like they are daydreaming, but really they are thinking of ways to overthrow the system.

Money is not the problem. There are situations where materials are old and falling apart that it would be nice to get a few more books, but if kids in other countries can learn calculus with a rock and a piece of bark, then a few ripped pages is not the issue. The problem is the culture. It is cool to be stupid and nice looking books cannot do anything about that.

This is a difficult problem to solve, but it is essential for the future. The education system is like a failing business, and the only way to turn it around is to get in new ideas and completely reinvent everything.

Confessions of a Tenuous Blogger

Writing a blog is an interesting experience. I didn't put much thought into it before I started. I figured I enjoyed writing and it would come more naturally as I progressed.

I never realized how short my list of interesting thoughts was.

I do not want to talk about my life. It's hard enough to listen to people I know complain about their problems. When I stumble across someone online I've never met complaining about their life, my fingers abort before my brain can even process what just happened.

I do not want to spend all my time commenting on things I've read online. Fark has links to much more interesting articles than I could ever find.

So I'm left with issues such as society, politics, entertainment, and everyday things I hope people relate to. It hasn't been too difficult to maintain so far, but I can feel repeats and contradictions coming on. Hopefully it helps me organize all these things swirling around in my head.

Now on to topics more people can relate to.

An Ensemble of Issues

I think of a lot of things that are amusing as a short mention, but have little appeal in long narratives. Combined, however, they are a strong team.

-I don't know if the mythical "correctly aligned shopping cart" exists, but I have never run across it. As I walk through the grocery store, I spend more energy keeping my cart from veering left into the canned foods than I do picking out what I need. In my opinion, One-Legged Larry the shopping cart tester needs to find a new occupation.

-Searching for a cheaper gas station is one of the most asinine topics commonly discussed in public. The prices vary so little that when you haul your SUV an extra mile to save 3 cents you have spent more money in the process. Opportunity cost! It's taught in every high school in America, yet no one was awake.

-If a news site promotes an article with an image, the link should take you to an article with that image. When I see a tiny picture of two girls barely holding onto a rope in the middle of a hurricane, I want a larger image, not a picture of blowing trees. That's misleading the public.

-The chips per bag in vending machines has drastically decreased over the years. Now I'm spending money on a bag pumped with air and 4 and a half chips throw inside.

I thought of many more topics, but I forget to write them down, so they are gone forever, or at least until it happens to me again.

The American Slug

We live in a society that promotes the idea that no one can be bound to a certain life by their birth. Everyone has the opportunity to rise up and be great. It would be wonderful if hard work was the determining factor in success, but genetics always weasel their way into the picture.

The kid in the back of the class chewing on his notebook will probably never be an astronaut, despite his undaunted determination. Astronauts are required to know advanced math and to avoid chewing on the expensive equipment.

I played basketball for most of my life and had big dreams, but when I realized I had stopped growing and was a slow runner, I could see the writing on the wall. No matter how long I practiced my shot I would never make it in the basketball world. Look up J.J. Redick for my best case scenario.

Usain Bolt, the fastest runner in the world, was just destined for greatness. For the first few races I thought his nickname was just "The Jamaican Bolt". No, his actual name is Bolt. How could anyone ever compete against that.