The Seven Forgotten Virtues

Our civilization has almost completely disregarded all virtues that were once held holy. How far have we really wavered from our moral paths?

Chastity: A practice long commended by celebrities right up until they turn 18 and enter a new sexy phase. When popular movies are treating chastity like a curse we know that sins and virtues have been flipped and we are living in an upside down world.

Liberality: The phrase "donate to charity" has not been uttered without mentioning "tax write-off" in years. Trying to change the world has already been done. Go back to the 60's you hippie.

Temperance: If God did not want me to eat so much that I threw up, then why did he allow all-you-can-eat buffets to exist. The seven virtues were created previous to the invention of the buffalo wing.

Kindness: When abandoned puppy commercials are more sad than starving African children, we know we are digging our way to a new moral low.

Diligence: Replaced with a wonderland of procrastination known as the internet. We try to make time for work in between reading news stories and watching funny videos.

Humility: The last music video where the performer wore less than 2 million dollars in accessories was in 1992. Our heroes wear diamond shoelaces and drive million dollar cars. I wonder how much the Batmobile or an actual lunar rover would cost to buy.

Patience: Have you ever stood in the returns line at Wal-Mart? Forget it, I'll just keep the broken iPhone.

Our morals have been flipped around. Here's where I wrote about the sins a few months ago:
The Seven Essential Sins

Conspiracy Nuts and Bolts

The internet empowers the stupidest amongst us to raise up and be heard. The idiot revolution is starting to gain momentum, and we need to put down before it's too late.

Idiots are no longer confined to their homes, complaining to anyone within earshot about how the government has just approved a plan to put tracking devices in every person's head. They have a platform to spread their ideas to the world.

Whenever I watch a documentary online about global conspiracies I'm usually very intrigued. Everyone wants to solve a mystery, and what's better than a worldwide mystery.

After the documentary is over I usually do a quick fact check, and find that I have completely wasted two hours of my life. They had to have stumbled across a complete contradiction to their claims somewhere along the line. It's like these online conspiracy nuts are blindfolded and swinging randomly at a pinata that does not exist.

I don't want my government removed because there is a fear they are really lizard people. Even if they turn out to be lizard people I don't really mind. Lizards are notoriously skilled at economics.

Our Legends

Blockbuster movies can make millions, and bands can sell out stadiums, but they are no more legendary than the serial novelists who outsold Ernest Hemingway. Few masterpieces break through the centuries like Beethoven and da Vinci, but those that do are a window into a certain time period. I don't want my time to be marked only by politics and war. I want future generations to see the creative passion of my time.

What happened to our legends? Were the Bob Dylans and John Lennons born from some perfect melding of post-war establishment rebellion and LSD induced creativity? Is today's society, run by former hippies, which encourages free expression and questioning authority, actually hampering the rise of a new generation of icons?

Did the paparazzi kill them? Was the mythology behind Hendrix due to the fact that there was still mystery and every move he made wasn't captured by a horde of photographers?

Is the market oversaturated? Recording used to be expensive, but can now be done by any twelve-year-old with a computer. If every laptop could start printing out gold bars, even a mountain of gold wouldn't look that impressive.

Has everything been done? Has popular music run its course? Is even the most innovative music just taking old songs and dressing them up in new ways?

Maybe my kids will look at today's stars and wished they had lived now so they could see them play. Maybe it just takes time.

The Cost of Fame: $0

Today's celebrity: All the isolation and lack of privacy as stars of the past with none of that pesky admiration or respect.

At an age where hundreds of channels, movies, and websites are touting new celebrities daily, fame is not hard to come by, but the benefits of that fame are rapidly diminishing.

The reason celebrities are not as rich and beautiful as before is because beauty and achievement are no longer requirements of stardom. Long ago, when celebrities stopped doing important things, their publicity would stop. They would have to demolish a town on elephant back, or hijack a train full of pandas to get a mention in the press again. Now, going to a pet supermarket constitutes breaking news.

I don't expect the public to idolize the most talented authors or artists. Anyone with passion, dedication, or creativity will do just fine. Too bad apathy and stupidity are in season.

China Rising

When Bush said it would be easier if the US was a dictatorship he had a good point. China had a much easier time putting together the Olympics than most other countries. China may not be a dictatorship, but lets just say it can be dictatorshipish.

When citizens can't petition the government because you encased the entire poor part of town in concrete, there are few obstacles in planning. China did not need to go through a hearing about why 30,000 fireworks were bought with taxpayer money. If the Chinese government wants 30,000 fireworks, the Chinese government gets 30,000 fireworks.

It works well on the nationwide scale, but not so much on the individual basis. I very much enjoy making sarcastic comments about my leaders, and I would fight to protect that right.

How to Look Environmentally Friendly

It is becoming cool to be environmentally concious. It is a great thing, because real change has to occur with a society, not just with the government or media. Not everyone has gotten rid of their gasoline powered refrigerators yet, and I don't want anyone to feel left out, so here are some ways to appear in the know:

Make things you already do in your daily life about the environment - "I really try to use less paper by emailing instead of writing out notes and sending them via carrier pidgeon."

Research facts to appear well informed - "Did you realize that Apple is switching to all flourecent light bulbs. It's just great how companies are moving towards more green solutions."

Throw out guilt trips - "You should consider installing solar panels. It really helps reduce your footprint."

Add "It's not the solution, but every little bit helps" to the end of every sentence about the environment or energy.

Complain your way out of embarrasment -
"Oh, you drive a pick up truck..."
"I know it's just ridiculous. These automobile manufacturers make no attempt to help our environment. Then are in it with the big oil companies. I need a big truck to get around and they make me choose between a gas guzzler and a tiny hybrid."

Now go out there and look green.

The Good Times Are Killing Me

We are caught in an unavoidable trap of romanticized recollection of the past and optimistic hopes for the future. An onslaught of songs have told us to enjoy the day. We were not made to live in the present. We live in the past and future.

It's almost impossible to compete with other times. Real life can never live up to our selective memories. When I think back to high school I don't usually remember sitting in calculus class for two hours, slowly bobbing my head as the teacher droned on about integrals. I remember shooting water balloons at the gym class and getting caught sneaking off campus. Overall it feels like high school was just one extremely fun filled week. In reality it was a four year stay at a cesspool of insecurity and boredom.

The future is just as bad. I see all these dreams off in the distance and say, "Just wait until I get there, then everything will be great". When I get there, I will take a look from where I came and wish I had never left.

I do have fun and I'm happy with the time I'm in, but I always have to fight off my past and future selves, mocking me while I sit at work on another long day.