Wednesday, September 3, 2008

How to Get Involved in Politics

It's that time of the year, and its more heated than ever. Don't get left behind to wonder where you were during this historic moment. Here are some tips on getting started in the political world.

Pick a Side - You have to decide if you want to be a bleed-you-dry liberal, or a warmongering conservative. That or a nut job independent, but in that case you might as well not get involved.

Get a Bumper Sticker - Make sure it is the only one on your car. Your message of unwavering support should not be tarnished by the "I'm Going Nuckin Futs" sticker beside it.

Attract Supporters - Convince people they are wrong and dumb and you are more correct about the world. If this works, then they really are most likely dumb.

Keep Up on Current Events - This way you can say things like, "Did you hear about what was going on in Kyshashstan. Only has a definitive plan to deal with the ongoing situation."

Donate - Every dollar makes a difference towards the goal of most money ever wasted on advertising.

Argue, Argue, Argue - When your rival gets out of hand, cut off their mic. If you don't have your own talk show, simply drown out the other party with insults and loudness. It works just as well.

Vote - P. Diddy demands it.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Good one. :) This particular election is just full of interesting surprises, too. LOL!