Thursday, May 29, 2008


I have a plan to make an easy living, but I'm not very comfortable with animals, so I would not be able to pull it off myself. For the plan to work you need a good personality and a small initial investment.

The plan becomes easier as it progresses. The first part is the hardest. It requires the buying up of some unusual animals. A few lemurs, a large snake, a family of sugar gliders. No hippos or elephants needed.

The second task is to make it in to a few news reports. Start local, but shoot for a small mention in a national news segment. If you can't get recognition, let one of the lemurs kill the cat next door, then fight city hall over it. The media loves lemur on cat violence pieces.

Now you can just ride the wave of talk shows. America loves animal shenanigans. Promote something. Eat the free food and take home the gift baskets. Train your ferret to poop on the host's desk and you will be invited back.

Write a book about animals, enjoy your house filled with gift baskets, and watch yourself on the best talk show moments special.

Or just continue living your mundane life. It's up to you.

No comments: