Thursday, August 21, 2008

How to Survive the Tough Economy

It was recently reported by one of the top economists in the country that the worst is yet to come in the mortgage crisis, and that a major US bank will fail in the coming months. I want to offer some advice to anyone out there worried about your money.

A small initial investment of an electric fence will yield big results when debt collectors come around.

Cancel your expensive HD sports package...I'm just kidding, try making your kids pay rent.

Sell your Beanie Babies for scraps.

Vote for the candidate who has real answers for our economy...Jim Cramer.

Take your money out of stocks and bonds and invest in lottery tickets.

Learn a useful skill, like sucking up to the Chinese.

1 comment:

jq said...

There's a classic NTG post; good job.

"Cancel your expensive HD sports package...I'm just kidding, try making your kids pay rent."

Ain't it the truth? I'm getting so tired of people who complain about how poor they are, then turn around and tell me about their full-access cable subscription, high-speed internet, and unlimited texting cell phone plan. I still subscribe to the "rabbit ears" plan, which runs me about, oh, $0.00/month (yes, it receives digital signals for Feb '09).

Where was I when the word "necessity" was redefined?