Wednesday, July 16, 2008

How to be Hated

Sometimes you may get tired of the "nice guy" routine. You may really want to have at least one person who just despises you. Here is a beginners guide to making enemies.

Be Obnoxious - Note actions that really get on people's nerves and continuously repeat them. Maybe you want to bring up things that happened only minutes earlier. Perhaps you know all the lines from a great movie? Use that to your advantage and keep others from enjoying the classics.

Have Opposite Viewpoints - If your associate loves the Yankees, proclaim your devotion to the Red Sox. If they support Obama, tell them you think that he's really a Muslim.

Come Off as Arrogant - Even if you have nothing to be particularly proud of, find something in your life to talk about for a long period of time. Try to always come off as working to impress others.

Have Horrible Taste - Tell everyone your favorite movie is Transporter 2 and you think Air Supply is possibly the greatest band in history.

Lie - Attempt to make up stories that are obviously untrue. Work on things that can be proven untrue, or are so unbelievable that after several different lies people think you are either a mix between Richard Branson and Batman, or are completely full of it.

Have "That Look" - Some people are just born with it, but others have to work at it. Gel back your hair and wear white sunglasses. Perhaps grow a pony-tail, or constantly go out shirtless.

Be Yourself - Even if you are the nicest person in the world, someone will find a reason to hate you.


Jamie said...

I don't know about you, but I find that the people who annoy me the most are the ones that most remind me of myself. When I start to to dissect exactly what it is about a person that I strongly dislike, it tends to be a trait that I specifically possess.

Maybe it's a primal desire to maintain ownership of my own uniqueness. Maybe it's a subconscious desire to reject my own dominant flaws. Whatever it is, I find this phenomenon to be simultaneously interesting and disturbing.

Anonymous said...

When you truly love someone, even their faults are endearing. :) Whatever makes them them, is what ignites that spark of affection.

Jamie said...

What if those faults include a hair-trigger temper, a biting tongue, or a tendency to correct everything that you say or do? Does that "ignite that spark of affection"?

In my opinion, some flaws are inexcusable; they're to be overlooked and forgiven, to be sure, but I certainly don't see how they could be "endearing."

(By the way, the above flaws are mine by admission; I'm not trying to lay blame on anyone...)

Anonymous said...

I'd be willing to give it a try. I tend to bring out the best in people. So far, I find it highly complementary. LOL! I respond well to direction if it comes from a place of affection and good sense. I crave it, to be honest. I was raised by an exacting and demanding perfectionist, and I miss it a great deal.

I, too, have a bad temper, and I correct people a lot. It's not a quick temper, though. It's only when people deserve it, and because I love them. My kids are absolutely crazy about me. They could spend all day every day with me and still not get enough.

You've always been able to see when you were mistaken, too. Maybe you are too hard on yourself? :)