Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Operation Ceasar Salad

Shopping for me is like a military operation. Get in, grab the peanut butter, and get out before anyone knows what hit them. I always write out everything I need, number it by location, and rewrite it for maximum speed shopping. If I have time, I write out a map and use GPS to insure I'm meeting my objectives.

It's stereotypical to say, "Guys hate shopping". I don't hate shopping. I usually approach the situation optimistically, but after searching through racks of clothes for my size, I begin to develop a twitch. If a fitting room is involved, that twitch will develop into anxiety, dizziness, and, if it's shoe shopping, blackouts.

I don't know what it is about shopping that makes me queasy. It might be the florescent lights burning through my skin, or the strange smell coming from that one isle no one ever goes down. Until a doctor checks this problem out, I better take good care of my wardrobe.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

That would be the shoe aisle, N.T.G.

http://www.chej.org/BESAFE/pvc/about.htm

Jamie said...

NTG-

I also enjoy shopping, but in a different way than my wife. What I enjoy is finding that thing that I was looking for, purchasing it, then going home and making use of it.

My wife, on the other hand, enjoys the process of shopping; walking around, looking at things, talking to her co-shoppers, etc. She'll even leave a store empty-handed and not feel like she'd wasted her time.

I personally can't deal with that. If I get the wife's approval to buy myself a new TV, I will not be leaving that store without a TV. I don't care if it's just the cardboard model in the entertainment center display; I will not be empty-handed!

Anonymous said...

Well my husband has my full approval for whatever he sees fit so far as I'm concerned. I trust him with my whole heart. I know he'll make sound decisions to benefit us both, and the entire family.

Jamie said...

"My husband has my full approval...I know he'll make sound decisions to benefit us both, and the entire family."

Speaking as the husband with his wife's "full approval," that sentiment sounds great, but the actual translation of those words is as follows: "My husband knows that I would jump down his throat if I suspected that he wanted to spend our hard-earned money on a new [insert miscellaneous fun guy toy here]."

When a man is burdened with the task of responsibly doling out his family's income, he either fails miserably or constantly denies his own wants. The only reprieve is for his wife to occasionally give him permission to spend a little something on himself (or for her to do so for him).

It's not necessarily a bad arrangement; men need to learn fiscal responsibility, and wives need to be able to trust their husbands to be responsible. I just think it's a little naive to believe that any couple is actually in complete harmony over how they want to spend their money.

Anonymous said...

My reaction to jamie's post is that he is naive in thinking a woman is less challenged to spend her money responsibly. It's a sexist notion, really, and quite naive.

And if I was inclined to marry a silly little playboy, I would not be in these circumstances, I assure you.

Not only that, but I never "jump down a throat" without an explicit invitation to do so, and unless there is sufficient motivation. Most men wouldn't want me in there with my spurs on, anyhow. (I sleep in them, you know).

Was that answer cool and sophisticated enough for you?! LOL! My skin is so tough I keep forgetting to don my turtle shell…

Jamie said...

Wow. I'm sorry to have offended you to such a degree; that was not my intention, although I'm sure my use of the word "naive" wasn't the best choice.

"...[Jamie] is naive in thinking a woman is less challenged to spend her money responsibly. It's a sexist notion, really, and quite naive."

I apologize for making the comment gender-specific; in my personal case, my wife prefers to let me handle paying the bills and managing the budget, so my natural tendency is to assume the same in others' relationships. I believe that, regardless of gender, whoever has the primary responsibility of managing the budget does, indeed, have to deal with either constant self-denial or guilt over money spent on him/herself.

Of course, this situation is probably inversely related to income; as income goes up, the pressure over how it's spent goes down.

I occasionally like to spend a little money on myself; a new guitar tuner here, a bottle of Mountain Dew there, maybe a new pair of sandals to replace my worn out ones. These are small, arguably selfish wants (not needs) that don't benefit anyone but myself. In order to purchase them, I have to spend money from my family's communal money pot, which is where the aforementioned psychological conflict comes in. I don't think that makes me a "silly little playboy", but I guess that's up to others to decide.

Sorry for the serious tone that this line of comments has taken, NTG, but I hate to leave a conversation unfinished, especially when tensions are left unresolved.

Anonymous said...

"In order to purchase them, I have to spend money from my family's communal money pot, which is where the aforementioned psychological conflict comes in."

You've hit that one dead on, my friend. Ain't no amps in this house to tune. ;) Lots of books to read, though! And I could use some help carrying them up the *&$#!! stairs.

If nobody shows up to help me in the next two weeks, I'll bloody well do it myself, and then I'm not interested any more in help from anybody! Them's the breaks, my friend. I only run in circles for so long before the rope breaks…