Sunday, June 15, 2008

Ping Pong Diplomacy

A car is like an anger machine. I don't have road rage, but my frustration level is increased at least 300% while driving. The people who get the violent road rage already have controllable anger issues, but when they sit behind the wheel, they end up taking a baseball bat to a motor scooter that didn't signal a left turn. There's just something extremely frustrating about being stuck going 46 mph when you know you could be going 48.

It might be a conspiracy from car manufacturers who put chemicals in the seats so we crash violently and have to buy new cars. The other explanation is mechanics sweat testosterone onto the engine which blows on us when we start the air conditioning.

Car anger doesn't penetrate the rest of our lives. If it did I would cut off old ladies at the supermarket and trip joggers as I ran by. If we could harness this power, there would be no need for us to go to war again. We could drop anger bombs over Iran and watch the kill each other over games of ping pong. I doubt Iranians play ping pong. Maybe that's why there hasn't been a start to diplomacy.

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